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”
I laughed。 “I doubt it。”
Ian tilted his head to one side； his expression speculative。
“Melanie Stryder？” he asked； addressing her。
We both started at the name。
Ian went on。 “I’d like the chance to speak with Wanda privately； if you don’t mind。 Is there any way that
could be arranged？”
Of all the nerve！ You tell him I said no chance in hell！ I donotlike this man。
My nose wrinkled up。
“What did she say？”
“She said no。” I tried to say the words as gently as they could be said。 “And that she doesn’t… like
you。”
Ian laughed。 “I can respect that。 I can respecther。 Well； it was worth a try。” He sighed。 “Kind of puts a
damper on things； having an audience。”
What things？Mel growled。
I grimaced。 I didn’t like feeling her anger。 It was so much more vicious than mine。
Get used to it。
Ian put his hand on my face。 “I’ll let you think about things； okay？ So you can decide how you feel。”
I tried to be objective about that hand。 It was soft against my face。 It felt… nice。 Not like when Jared
touched me。 But also different from the way it felt when Jamie hugged me。 Other。
“It might take a while。 None of this makes any sense； you know；” I told him。
He grinned。 “I know。”
I realized； when he smiled then； that I wanted him to like me。 The rest—the hand on my face； the fingers
on my arm—I still wasn’t sure at all about those。 But I wanted him to like me； and to think kind things
about me。 Which is why it was hard to tell him the truth。
“You don’t really feel that way aboutme； you know；” I whispered。 “It’s this body。… She’s pretty； isn’t
she？”
He nodded。 “She is。 Melanie is a very pretty girl。 Even beautiful。” His hand moved to touch my bad
cheek； to stroke the rough； scarring skin with gentle fingers。 “In spite of what I’ve done to her face。”
Normally； I would have denied that automatically。 Reminded him that the wounds on my face weren’t his
truth came out in a rush； more heated than I’d meant it to be。 “Youcouldn’t care about me。 If you could
hold me in your hand；me； you would be disgusted。 You would throw me to the ground and grind me
under your foot。”
His pale forehead creased as his black brows pulled together。 “I… not if I knew it was you。”
I laughed without humor。 “How would you know？ You couldn’t tell us apart。”
His mouth turned down。
“It’s just the body；” I repeated。
“That’s not true at all；” he disagreed。 “It’s not the face； but the expressions on it。 It’s not the voice； but
what you say。 It’s not how you look in that body； but the things you do with it。You are beautiful。”
He moved forward as he spoke； kneeling beside the bed where I lay and taking my hand again in both
of his。
“I’ve never known anyone like you。”
I sighed。 “Ian； what if I’d e here in Magnolia’s body？”
He grimaced and then laughed。 “Okay。 That’s a good question。 I don’t know。”
“Or Wes’s？”
“But you’re female—you yourself are。”
“And I always request whatever a planet’s equivalent is。 It seems more… right。 But I could be put into a
man and I would function just fine。”
“But you’re not in a man’s body。”
“See？ That’s my point。 Body and soul。 Two different things； in my case。”
“I wouldn’t want it without you。”
“You wouldn’t wantme withoutit。 ”
Ah； the finality of it。 Yes； I would die in this body。 The final death。
And I will never live in it again；Melanie whispered。
It’s not how either of us planned our future； is it？
No。 Neither of us planned to have no future。
“Another internal conversation？” Ian guessed。
“We’re thinking of our mortality。”
“You could live forever if you left us。”
“Yes； I could。” I sighed。 “You know； humans have the shortest life span of any species I’ve ever been；
except the Spiders。 You have so little time。”
“Don’t you think； then…” Ian paused and leaned closer to me so that I couldn’t seem to see anything
around his face； just snow and sapphire and ink。 “That maybe you should make the most of what time
you have？ That you shouldlive while you’re alive？”
I didn’t see it ing the way I had with Jared。 Ian was not as familiar to me。 Melanie realized what he
was going to do before I did； just a second before his lips touched mine。
No！
It wasn’t like kissing Jared。 With Jared； there was no thought； only desire。 No control。 A spark to
gasoline—inevitable。 With Ian； I didn’t even know what I felt。 Everything was muddled and confused。
His lips were soft and warm。 He pressed them only lightly to mine； and then brushed them back and
forth across my mouth。
“Good or bad？” he whispered against my lips。
Bad！ Bad； bad！
“I—I can’t think。” When I moved my mouth to speak； he moved his with it。
“That sounds… good。”
His mouth pressed down with more force now。 He caught my lower lip between his and pulled on it
gently。
Melanie wanted to hit him—so much more than she’d wanted to punch Jared。 She wanted to shove him
away and then kick his face。 The image was horrible。 It conflicted jarringly with the sensation of Ian’s
kiss。
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。
“Yes？”
“Please stop。 I can’t think。 Please。”
He sat back at once； clasping his hands in front of him。 “Okay；” he said； his tone cautious。
I pressed my hands against my face； wishing I could push out Melanie’s anger。
“Well； at least nobody punched me。” Ian grinned。
“She wanted to do more than that。 Ugh。 I don’t like it when she’s mad。 It hurts my head。 Anger is so…
ugly。”
“Why didn’t she？”
“Because I didn’t lose control。 She only breaks free when I’m… overwhelmed。”
He watched as I kneaded my forehead。
Calm down；I begged her。He’s not touching me。
Has he forgotten that I’mhere？Doesn’t he care？ This is me； it’sme！
I tried to explain that。
What about you？ Have you forgotten Jared？
She threw the memories at me the way she’d done in the beginning； only this time they were like blows。
A thousand punches of his smile； his eyes； his lips on mine； his hands on my skin…
Of course not。 Have you forgotten that you don’t want me to love him？
“She’s talking to you。”
“Yelling at me；” I corrected。
“I can tell now。 I can see you concentrate on the conversation。 I never noticed before today。”
“She’s not always this vocal。”
“Iam sorry； Melanie；” he said。 “I know this must be impossible for you。”
Again； she visualized smashing her foot into his sculpted nose； leaving it crooked like Kyle’s。Tell him I
don’t want his apologies。
I winced。
Ian half smiled； half grimaced。 “She doesn’t accept。”
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。
“So she can break free？ If you’re overwhelmed？”
I shrugged。 “Sometimes； if she takes me by surprise and I’m too… emotional。 Emotion makes it hard to
concentrate。 But it’s been more difficult for her lately。 It’s like the door between us is locked。 I don’t
know why。 Itried to let her out when Kyle —” I stopped talking abruptly； grind