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Ian got up and walked quietly away。
I could make no sense of my emotions。 In that moment； I hated the body I was bound to。 How did it
make sense that his going depressed me？ Why should it pain me to have the solitude I craved？ I wanted
the monster back； and that was plainly wrong。
I wasn’t alone for long。 I didn’t know if Ian had gone to get him or if he’d been waiting for Ian to leave；
but I recognized Jeb’s contemplative whistle as it approached in the darkness。
The whistling stopped a few feet from me； and there was a loud click。 A beam of yellow light burned my
eyes。 I blinked against it。
Jeb set the flashlight down； bulb up。 It threw a circle of light on the low ceiling and made a wider； more
diffuse sphere of light around us。
Jeb settled himself against the wall beside me。
“Gonna starve yourself； then？ Is that the plan？”
I glared at the stone floor。
If I was being honest with myself； I knew that my mourning was over。 I had grieved。 I hadn’t known the
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angry。
“You wanna die； there are easier and faster ways。”
As if I wasn’t aware ofthat。
“So give me to Doc； then；” I croaked。
Jeb wasn’t surprised to hear me speak。 He nodded to himself； as if this was exactly what he’d known
would e out of my mouth。
“Did you expect us to just give up； Wanderer？” Jeb’s voice was stern and more serious than I had ever
heard it before。 “We have a stronger survival instinct than that。 Of course we want to find a way to get
our minds back。 It could be any one of us someday。 So many people we love are already lost。
“It isn’t easy。 It nearly kills Doc each time he fails—you’ve seen that。 But this is our reality； Wanda。 This
is our world。 We’ve lost a war。 We are about to be extinct。 We’re trying to find ways to save ourselves。”
For the first time； Jeb spoke to me as if I were a soul and not a human。 I had a sense that the distinction
had always been clear to him； though。 He was just a courteous monster。
I couldn’t deny the truth of what he was saying； or the sense of it。 The shock had worn off； and I was
myself again。 It was in my nature to be fair。
Some few of these humans could see my side of things； Ian； at least。 Then I； too； could consider their
perspective。 They were monsters； but maybe monsters who were justified in what they were doing。
Of course they would think violence was the answer。 They wouldn’t be able to imagine any other
solution。 Could I blame them that their genetic programming restricted their problem…solving abilities in
this way？
I cleared my throat； but my voice was still hoarse with disuse。 “Hacking up babies won’t save anyone；
Jeb。 Now they’reall dead。”
He was quiet for a moment。 “We can’t tell your young from your old。”
“No； I know that。”
“Your kind don’t spare our babies。”
“We don’t torture them； though。 We never intentionally cause anyone pain。”
“You do worse than that。 You erase them。”
“You do both。”
“We do； yes—because we have to try。 We have to keep fighting。 It’s the only way we know。 It’s keep
trying or turn our faces to the wall and die。” He raised one eyebrow at me。
That must have been what it looked like I was doing。
“It will never work； Jeb。 You can keep cutting us out in pieces； but you’ll just murder more and more
sentient creatures of both species。 We do not willingly kill； but our bodies are not weak； either。 Our
attachments may look like soft silver hair； but they’re stronger than your organs。 That’s what’s
happening； isn’t it？ Doc slices upmy family； and their limbs shred through the brains ofyours。 ”
“Like cottage cheese；” he agreed。
I gagged and then shuddered at the image。
“It makes me sick； too；” he admitted。 “Doc gets real bent out of shape。 Every time he thinks he’s got it
cracked； it goes south again。 He’s tried everything he can think of； but he can’t save them from getting
turned into oatmeal。 Your souls don’t respond to injected sedation… or poison。”
My voice came out rough with new horror。 “Of course not。 Our chemical makeup is pletely
different。”
“Once； one of yours seemed to guess what was going to happen。 Before Doc could knock the human
out； the silver thingy tore up his brain from the inside。 Course； we didn’t know that until Doc opened him
up。 The guy just collapsed。”
I was surprised； strangely impressed。 That soul must have been very brave。 I had not had the courage to
take that step； even in the beginning when I was sure they were going to try to torture this very
information from me。 I didn’t imagine they would try to slash the answer out for themselves； that course
was so obviously doomed to failure； it had never occurred to me。
“Jeb； we are relatively tiny creatures； utterly dependent on unwilling hosts。 We wouldn’t have lasted very
long if we didn’t have some defenses。”
“I’m not denying that your kind have a right to those defenses。 I’m just telling you that we’re gonna keep
fighting back； however we can。 We don’t mean to cause anyone pain。 We’re makin’ this up as we go。
But wewill keep fighting。”
We looked at each other。
“Then maybe youshould have Doc slice me up。 What else am I good for？”
“Now； now。 Don’t be silly； Wanda。 We humans aren’t so logical as all that。 We have a greater range of
good and bad in us than you do。 Well； maybe mostly the bad。”
I nodded at that； but he kept going； ignoring me。
“We value the individual。 We probably puttoo much emphasis on the individual； if it es right down to
it。 How many people； in the abstract； would… let’s say Paige… how many people would she sacrifice to
keep Andy alive？ The answer wouldn’t make any sense if you were looking at the whole of humanity as
equals。
“The way you are valued here… Well； that don’t make much sense when you look at it from humanity’s
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myself in that group。 I count you as a friend； Wanda。 Course； that’s not gonna work well if you hate me。”
“I don’t hate you； Jeb。 But…”
“Yeah？”
“I just don’t see how I can live here anymore。 Not if you’re going to be slaughtering my family in the
other room。 And I can’t leave； obviously。 So you see what I mean？ What else is there for me but Doc’s
pointless cutting？” I shuddered。
He nodded seriously。 “Now； that’s a real valid point。 It’s not fair to ask you to live with that。”
My stomach dropped。 “If I get a choice； I’d rather you shot me； actually；” I whispered。
Jeb laughed。 “Slow down there； honey。 Nobody’s shooting my friends； or hackin’ ’em up。 I know
you’re not lying； Wanda。 If you say doing it our way isn’t going to work； then we’re going to have to
rethink things。 I’ll tell the boys they’re not to bring any more souls back for now。 Besides； I think Doc’s
nerves are toast。 He can’t take much more of this。”
“You could be lying to me；” I reminded him。 “I probably couldn’t tell。”
“You’ll have to trust me； then。 Because I’m not going to