按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
“Spaghetti。 Excellent。”
“Dibs on the garlic chicken；” Jeb said。 “I’ve been missin’ garlic quite a bit—though I imagine no one
misses it on my breath。” He chuckled。
Jeb was prepared； with bottles of water and several portable stoves。 People began to gather around；
squeezing together in the small space。 I was wedged between Jared and Ian； and I’d pulled Jamie onto
my lap。 Though he was much too old for this； he didn’t protest。 He must have sensed how much both of
us needed that—Mel and Ihad to feel him alive and healthy and in our arms。
The shimmering circle seemed to widen； enveloping the entire late…night supper party； making them
family； too。 Everyone waited contentedly for Jeb to prepare the unexpected treats； in no hurry。 Fear had
been replaced by relief and happy news。 Even Kyle； pressed into the small space on the other side
of his brother； was not unwele in the circle。
Melanie sighed in contentment。 She was vibrantly aware of the warmth of the boy in my lap and the
touch of the man who still stroked his hand against my arm。 She wasn’t even upset by Ian’s arm around
my shoulders。
You’re feeling the No Pain； too；I teased her。
No； you’re right。 This is more than I’ve ever had。
This is so much of what I lost。
What was it that made this human love so much more desirable to me than the love of my own kind？
Was it because it was exclusive and capricious？ The souls offered love and acceptance to all。 Did I crave
a greater challenge？ This love was tricky； it had no hard…and…fast rules—it might be given for free； as
with Jamie； or earned through time and hard work； as with Ian； or pletely and heartbreakingly
unattainable； as with Jared。
Or was it simply better somehow？ Because these humans could hate with so much fury； was the other
end of the spectrum that they could love with more heart and zeal and fire？
I didn’t know why I had yearned after it so desperately。 All I knew was that； now that I had it； it was
worth every ounce of risk and agony it had cost。 It was better than I’d imagined。
It was everything。
By the time the food was prepared and consumed； the late—or rather early—hour had gotten to us all。
People stumbled out of the crowded room toward their beds。 As they left； there was more space。
Those remaining slouched down where we were as room became available。 Gradually； we melted in
place until we were horizontal。 My head ended up pillowed on Jared’s stomach； his hand stroked my hair
now and then。 Jamie’s face was against my chest； and his arms were around my neck。 One of my arms
wrapped around his shoulders。 Ian’s head was cushioned on my stomach； and he held my other hand to
his face。 I could feel Doc’s long leg stretched beside mine； his shoe by my hip。 Doc was asleep—I could
hear him snoring。 I may have even been touching Kyle somewhere。
Jeb was sprawled on the bed。 He belched； and Kyle chuckled。
“Nicer night than I was plannin’ for。 I like it when pessimism goes unrewarded；” Jeb mused。 “Thanks；
Wanda。”
“Mmm；” I sighed； half asleep。
“Next time she raids…” Kyle said； somewhere on the other side of Jared’s body。 A big yawn
interrupted his sentence。 “Next time she raids； I’m ing； too。”
“She’s not going out again；” Ian answered； his body tensing。 I brushed my hand against his face； trying to
soothe him。
“Of course not；” I murmured to him。 “I don’t have to go anywhere unless I’m needed。 I don’t mind
staying in here。”
“I’m not talking about keeping you prisoner； Wanda；” Ian explained； irritated。 “You can go anywhere
you want as far as I’m concerned。 Jogging on the highway； if you’d like that。 But not a raid。 I’m talking
about keeping you safe。”
“We need her；” Jared said； his voice harder than I wanted to hear it。
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter； processtext/abclit。html
”
“Fine？ Jamie would have died without her。 She can get things for us that no one else can。”
“She’s a person； Jared； not a tool。”
“I know that。 I didn’t say that —”
“’S up to Wanda； I’d say。” Jeb interrupted the argument just as I was about to。 My hand was holding
Ian down now； and I could feel Jared’s body shifting under my head as he prepared to get up。 Jeb’s
words froze them in place。
“You can’t leave it up to her； Jeb；” Ian protested。
“Why not？ Seems like she’s got her own mind。 ’S it your job to make decisions for her？”
“I’ll tell you why not；” Ian grumbled。 “Wanda？”
“Yes； Ian？”
“Do youwant to go out on raids？”
“If I can help； of course I should go。”
“That’s not what I asked； Wanda。”
I was quiet for a moment； trying to remember his question to see how I’d gotten it wrong。
“See； Jeb？ She never takes into account her own wants—her own happiness； her ownhealth； even。
She’d do anything we asked her to； even if it got her killed。 It’s not fair to ask her things the way we’d
ask each other。We stop to think about ourselves。 She doesn’t。”
It was quiet。 No one answered Ian。 The silence dragged on until I felt pelled to speak for myself。
“That’s not true；” I said。 “I think about myself all the time。 And I… Iwant to help。 Doesn’t that count？ It
made me so happy to help Jamie tonight。 Can’t I find happiness the wayI want to？”
Ian sighed。 “See what I mean？”
“Well； I can’t tell her she can’t go if she wants to；” Jeb said。 “She’s not a prisoner anymore。”
“But we don’t have to ask。”
Jared was very quiet through all this。 Jamie was quiet； too； but I was pretty sure he was asleep。 I knew
Jared wasn’t； his hand was tracing random patterns on the side of my face。 Glowing； burning patterns。
“You don’t need to ask；” I said。 “I volunteer。 It really wasn’t… frightening。 Not at all。 The other souls
are very kind。 I’m not afraid of them。 It was almost too easy。”
“Easy？ Cutting your —”
second。 “Right？” I checked。
Ian groaned。 “If she goes； I’m going； too；” he said in a bleak tone。 “Someonehas to protect her from
herself。”
“And I’ll be there to protect the rest of us fromher； ” Kyle said with a chuckle。 Then he grunted and
said； “Ow。”
I was too tired to lift my head to see who had hit Kyle now。
“And I’ll be there to bring you all back alive；” Jared murmured。
CHAPTER 47
Employed
This is too easy。 It’s not really even fun anymore；” Kyle plained。
“You wanted to e；” Ian reminded him。
He and Ian were in the windowless back of the van； sorting through the nonperishable groceries and
toiletries I’d just collected from the store。 It was the middle of the day； and the sun was shining on
Wichita。 It was not as hot as the Arizona desert； but it was more humid。 The air swarmed with tiny flying
bugs。
Jared drove toward the highway out of town； carefully keeping below the speed limit。 This continued to
irritate him。
“Getting tired of shopping yet； Wanda？” Ian asked me。
“No。 I don’t mind it。”
“You always say that。 Isn’t thereanything you mind？”
“I mind… being away from Jamie。 And I mind being outside； a little bit。 During the day especially