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“Fine； Jeb；” I gasped。 My voice was breathy； strained。 I was surprised at how bad it sounded。
The Seeker’s dark eyes flickered between us； unsure。 Then she recoiled from me； cringing into the wall。
I recognized the pose—remembered exactly how it felt to hold it。
A gentle hand came down on my shoulder and spun me around。
“What’s going on with you； hon？” Jeb asked。
“I need a minute；” I told him breathlessly。 I looked straight into his faded…denim eyes and told him
something that was most definitely not a lie。 “I have one more question。 But I really need a minute to
myself。 Can you… wait for me？”
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter； processtext/abclit。html
”
I nodded and walked as quickly as I could from the prison。 My legs were stiff with terror at first； but I
found my stride as I moved。 By the time I passed Aaron and Brandt； I was almost running。
“What happened？” I heard Aaron whisper to Brandt； his voice bewildered。
I wasn’t sure where to hide while I thought。 My feet； like a shuttle on automatic pilot； took me through
the corridors toward my sleeping room。 I could only hope that it would be empty。
It was dark； barely any light from the stars trickling down through the cracked ceiling。 I didn’t see Lily till
I tripped over her in the darkness。
I almost didn’t recognize her tear…swollen face。 She was curled into a tight； tiny ball on the floor in the
middle of the passageway。 Her eyes were wide； not quite prehending who I was。
“Why？” she asked me。
I stared at her wordlessly。
“I said that life and love go on。 Butwhy do they？ They shouldn’t。 Not anymore。 What’s the point？”
“I don’t know； Lily。 I’m not sure what the point is。”
“Why？” she asked again； not speaking to me anymore。 Her glassy eyes looked right through me。
I stepped carefully past her and hurried to my room。 I had my own question that had to be answered。
To my great relief； the room was empty。 I threw myself facedown on the mattress where Jamie and I
slept。
When I’d told Jeb I had one more question； that was the truth。 But the question was not for the Seeker。
The question was for me。
The question was would I—notcould I—do it？
Icould save the Seeker’s life。 I knew how。 It would not endanger any of the lives here。 Except my own。
I would have to trade that。
No。Melanie tried to be firm through her panic。
Please let me think。
No。
This is the thing； Mel。 It’s inevitable anyway。 I can see that now。 I should have seen it long ago。
It’s so obvious。
No； it isn’t。
I remembered our conversation when Jamie was ill。 When we were making up。 I’d told her that I
It wasn’t so much a lie as it was an unfinished sentence。 I couldn’t give her more than that—and stay
alive myself。
The actual lie had been given to Jared。 I’d told him； just seconds later； that I didn’t know how to make
myself not exist。 In the context of our discussion； it was true。 I didn’t know how to fade away； here inside
Melanie。 But I was surprised I hadn’t heard the obvious lie right then； hadn’t seen in that moment what I
was seeing now。 Of course I knew how to make myself not exist。
It was just that I had never considered that option viable； ultimate betrayal that it was to every soul on
this planet。
Once the humans knew that I had this answer； the one they had murdered for over and over again； it
would cost me。
No； Wanda！
Don’t you want to be free？
A long pause。
I wouldn’t ask you for this；she finally said。And I wouldn’t do it for you。 And I sure as hell wouldn’t
do it for the Seeker！
You don’t have to ask。 I think I might have volunteered… eventually。
Why do you think that？she demanded； her tone close to a sob。 It touched me。 I expected her to be
elated。
In part because of them。 Jared and Jamie。 I can give them the whole world； everything they want。
I can give themyou。I probably would have realized that… someday。 Who knows？ Maybe Jared
would have asked。 You know I wouldn’t have said no。
Ian’s right。 You’re too self…sacrificing。 You don’t have any limits。 You need limits； Wanda！
Ah； Ian；I moaned。 A new pain twisted through me； surprisingly close to my heart。
You’ll take the whole world away from him。 Everything he wants。
It would never work with Ian。 Not in this body； even though he loves it。 It doesn’t love him。
Wanda； I…Melanie struggled for words。 Still； the joy I expected from her did not e。 Again； this
touched me。I don’t think I can let you do this。 You’re more important than that。 In the bigger
picture； you are of much more value to them than I am。 You can help them； you can save them。 I
can’t do any of that。 You have to stay。
I can’t see any other way； Mel。 I wonder how I didn’t see it sooner。 It seems so pletely
obvious。Of courseI have to go。Of courseI have to give you yourself back。 I already knew we souls
were wrong to e here。 So I don’t have any choice now but to do the right thing； and leave。
You all survived without me before； you’ll do it again。 You’ve learned so much about the souls
No； Wanda； no。
She was crying； being incoherent。 Her sorrow brought tears to my eyes。 I’d no idea that she cared
so much for me。 Almost as much as I cared for her。 I hadn’t realized that we loved each other。
Even if Jared had never asked me for this； even if Jared did not exist… Once this path had occurred to
me； I would have had to proceed down it。 I loved her that much。
No wonder the success rate for resistant hosts was so low here on Earth。 Once we learned to love our
human host； what hope did we souls have？ We could not exist at the expense of one we loved。 Not a
soul。 A soul could not live that way。
I rolled myself over and； in the starlight； I looked at my body。
My hands were dirty and scratched； but under the surface blemishes； they were beautiful。 The skin was
a pretty sun…browned color； even bleached in the pale light； it was pretty。 The nails were chewed short
but still healthy and smooth； with little half moons of white at the bases。 I fluttered my fingers； watching
the muscles pull the bones in graceful patterns。 I let them dance above me； where they became black fluid
shapes against the stars。
I ran them through my hair。 It was almost to my shoulders now。 Mel would like that。 After a few weeks
of shampoo in hotel showers and Health vitamins； it was glossy and soft again。
I stretched my arms out as far as they would go； tugging against the tendons until some of my joints
cracked。 My arms felt strong。 They could pull me up a mountainside； they could carry a heavy load； they
could plow a field。 But they were also soft。 They could hold a child； they could fort a friend； they
could love… but that was not for me。
I took a deep breath； and tears welled out of the corners of my eyes and rolled down my temples into
my hair。
I tensed the muscles in my legs； felt their ready strength and speed。 I wanted to run； to have an open
field that I could race across just to see how fast I could go。 I wanted to do this barefoot； so I could feel
the earth beneath m