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Remember him？ The one who attacked the Healer？”
I stared at her； eyes wide； nostrils flared。
I hadn’t moved an inch or relaxed a muscle。 The Seeker leaned in； stretched up on her toes to put her
face closer to mine。 Her voice turned low and smooth in an attempt to sound persuasive。
“Is that what you want； Wanderer？ To lose？ To fade away； erased by another awareness？ To be no
better than a host body？”
I couldn’t breathe。
“It only gets worse。 You won’t beyou anymore。 She’ll beat you； and you’ll disappear。 Maybe someone
will intervene。… Maybe they’ll move you like they did Kevin。 And you’ll bee some child named
Melanie who likes to tinker with cars rather than pose music。 Or whatever it is she does。”
“The success rate is under twenty percent？” I whispered。
She nodded； trying to suppress a smile。 “You’re losing yourself； Wanderer。 All the worlds you’ve seen；
all the experiences you’ve collected—they’ll be for nothing。 I saw in your file that you have the potential
for Motherhood。 If you gave yourself to be a Mother； at least all that would not be entirely wasted。 Why
throw yourself away？ Have you considered Motherhood？”
I jerked away from her； my face flushing。
“I’m sorry；” she muttered； her face darkening； too。 “That was impolite。 Forget I said that。”
“I’m going home。 Don’t follow。”
“I have to； Wanderer。 It’s my job。”
“Why do you care so much about a few spare humans？ Why？ How do you justify yourjob anymore？
We’ve won！ It’s time for you to join society and do something productive！”
My questions； my implied accusations； did not ruffle her。
“Wherever the fringes of their world touch ours there is death。” She spoke the words peacefully； and for
a moment I glimpsed a different person in her face。 It surprised me to realize that she deeply believed in
what she did。 Part of me had supposed that she only chose to seek because she illicitly craved the
violence。 “If even one soul is lost to your Jared or your Jamie； that is one soul too many。 Until there is
total peace on this planet； my job will be justified。 As long as there are Jareds surviving； I am needed to
protect our kind。 As long as there are Melanies leading souls around by the nose…”
I turned my back on her and headed for my apartment with long strides that would force her to run if she
wanted to keep up。
“Don’t lose yourself； Wanderer！” she called after me。 “Time is running out for you！” She paused； then
Her voice faded as the space between us grew。 I knew she would follow at her own pace。 This last
unfortable week—seeing her face in the back of every class； hearing her footsteps behind me on the
sidewalk every day—was nothing pared to what was ing。 She was going to make my life a
misery。
It felt as if Melanie were bouncing violently against the inner walls of my skull。
Let’s get her canned。 Tell her higher…ups that she did something unacceptable。 Assaulted us。 It’s
our word against hers —
In a human world；I reminded her； almost sad that I didn’t have access to that sort of recourse。There
are no higher…ups； in that sense。 Everyone works together as equals。 There are those whom many
report to； in order to keep the information organized； and councils who make decisions about that
information； but they won’t remove her from an assignment she wants。 You see； it works like —
Who cares how it works if it doesn’t help us？ I know—let’s kill her！A gratuitous image of my hands
tightening around the Seeker’s neck filled my head。
That sort of thing isexactlywhy my kind is better left in charge of this place。
Get off your high horse。 You’d enjoy it as much as I would。The image returned； the Seeker’s face
turning blue in our imagination； but this time it was acpanied by a fierce wave of pleasure。
That’s you； not me。My statement was true； the image sickened me。 But it was also perilously close to
false—in that I would very much enjoy never seeing the Seeker again。
What do we do now？ I’m not giving up。 You’re not giving up。 And that wretched Seeker is sure as
hell not giving up！
I didn’t answer her。 I didn’t have a ready answer。
It was quiet in my head for a brief moment。 That was nice。 I wished the silence could last。 But there was
only one way to buy my peace。 Was I willing to pay the price？ Did I have a choice anymore？
Melanie slowly calmed。 By the time I was through the front door； locking behind me the bolts that I had
never before turned—human artifacts that had no place in a peaceful world—her thoughts were
contemplative。
I’d never thought about how you all carry on your species。 I didn’t know it was likethat。
We take it very seriously； as you can imagine。 Thanks for your concern。She wasn’t bothered by the
thick edge of irony in the thought。
She was still musing over this discovery while I turned on my puter and began to look for shuttle
flights。 It was a moment before she was aware of what I was doing。
Where are we going？The thought held a flicker of panic。 I felt her awareness begin to rifle through my
head； her touch like the soft brush of feathers； searching for anything I might be keeping from her。
The panic was more than a flicker now。Why？
I’m going to see the Healer。 I don’t trusther。I want to talk to him before I make my decision。
There was a brief silence before she spoke again。
The decision to kill me？
Yes； that one。
CHAPTER 8
Loved
You’reafraid to fly？” The Seeker’s voice was full of disbelief edging toward mockery。 “You’ve traveled
through deep space eight times and you’re afraid to take a shuttle to Tucson； Arizona？”
“First of all； I’m not afraid。 Second； when I traveled through deep space I wasn’t exactly aware of
where I was； what with being stored in a hibernation chamber。 And third； this host gets motion sickness
on shuttles。”
The Seeker rolled her eyes in disgust。 “So take medication！ What would you have done if Healer Fords
hadn’t relocated to Saint Mary’s？ Would you be driving to Chicago？”
“No。 But since the option of driving is now reasonable； I will take it。 It will be nice to see a bit more of
this world。 The desert can be stunning —”
“The desert is dead boring。”
“—and I’m not in any hurry。 I have many things to think through； and I will appreciate some timealone。 ”
I looked pointedly at her as I emphasized the last word。
“I don’t understand the point of visiting your old Healer anyway。 There are many petent Healers
here。”
“I’m fortable with Healer Fords。 He has experience with this； and I don’t trust that I have all the
information I need。” I gave her another significant look。
“You don’t have time tonot hurry； Wanderer。 I recognize the signs。”
“Forgive me if I don’t consider your information impartial。 I know enough of human behavior to
recognize the signs of manipulation。”
She glowered at me。
I was packing my rental car with the few things I planned to take with me。 I had enough clothes to go a
week between washing； and the basic hygiene necessities。 Tho