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i have only one hope： that this anti…semitism is just a passing thing； that the dutch will show their true colors； that theyll never waver from what they know in their hearts to be just； for this is unjust！
and if they ever carry out this terrible threat； the meager handful of jews still left in holland will have to go。 we too will have to shoulder our bundles and move on； away from this beautiful country； which once so kindly took us in and now turns its back on us。
i love holland。 once i hoped it would bee a fatherland to me； since i had lost my own。 and i hope so still！
yours； anne
m。 frank
thursday； may 25； 1944
dearest kitty；
beps engaged！ the news isnt much of a surprise； though none of us are particularly pleased。 bertus may be a nice； steady； athletic young man； but bep doesnt love him； and to me thats enough reason to advise her against marrying him。
beps trying to get ahead in the world； and bertus is pulling her back； hes a laborer； without any interests or any desire to make something of himself； and i dont think thatll make bep happy。 i can understand beps wanting to put an end to her indecision； four weeks ago she decided to write him off； but then she felt even worse。
so she wrote him a letter； and now shes engaged。
there are several factors involved in this engagement。 first； beps sick father； who likes bertus very much。 second； shes the oldest of the voskuijl girls and her mother teases her about being an old maid。 third； shes just turned twenty…four； and that matters a great deal to bep。
mother said it would have been better if bep had simply had an affair with bertus。 i dont know； i feel sorry for bep and can understand her loneliness。 in any case； they can get married only after the war； since bertus is in hiding； or at any rate has gone underground。 besides； they dont have a penny to their name and nothing in the way of a hope chest。 what a sorry prospect for bep； for whom we all wish the best。 i only hope bertus improves under her influence； or that bep finds another man； one who knows how to appreciate her！
yours； anne
m。 frank
the same day theres something happening every day。 this morning mr。 van hoeven was arrested。
he was hiding two jews in his house。 its a heavy blow for us； not only because those poor jews are once again balancing on the edge of an abyss； but also because its terrible for mr。 van hoeven。
the worlds been turned upside down。 the most decent people are being sent to concentration camps； prisons and lonely cells； while the lowest of the low rule over young and old； rich and poor。 one gets caught for black marketeering； another for hiding jews or other un… fortunate souls。 unless youre a nazi； you dont know whats going to happen to you from one day to the next。
mr。 van hoeven is a great loss to us too。 bep cant possibly lug such huge amounts of potatoes all the way here； nor should she have to； so our only choice is to eat fewer of them。 ill tell you what we have in mind； but its certainly not going to make life here any more agreeable。 mother says well skip breakfast； eat hot cereal and bread for lunch and fried potatoes for dinner and； if possible； vegetables or lettuce once or twice a week。 thats all there is。 were going to be hungry； but nothings worse than being caught。
yours； anne
m。 frank
friday； may 26； 1944
my dearest kitty；
at long； long last； i can sit quietly at my table before the crack in the window frame and write you everything； everything i want to say。
i feel more miserable than i have in months。 even after the break…in i didnt feel so utterly broken； inside and out。 on the one hand； theres the news about mr。 van hoeven； the jewish question （which is discussed in detail by everyone in the house）； the invasion （which is so long in ing）； the awful food； the tension； the misera… ble atmosphere； my disappointment in peter。 on the other hand； theres beps engagement； the pentecost reception； the flowers； mr。 kuglers birthday； cakes and stories about cabarets； movies and concerts。 that gap； that enormous gap； is always there。 one day were laugh… ing at the ical side of life in hiding； and the next day （and there are many such days）； were frightened； and the fear； tension and despair can be read on our faces。
miep and mr。 kugler bear the greatest burden for us； and for all those in hiding…miep in everything she does and mr。 kugler through his enormous responsibthty for the eight of us； which is sometimes so overwhelming that he can hardly speak from the pent…up tension and strain。 mr。 kleiman and bep also take very good care of us； but theyre able to put the annex out of their minds； even if its only for a few hours or a few days。 they have their own worries； mr。 kleiman with his health and bep with her engagement； which isnt looking very promising lat the moment。 but they also have their outings； their visits with friends； their everyday lives as ordinary people； so that the tension is sometimes relieved； if only for a short while； while ours never is； never has been； not once in the two years weve been here。 how much longer will this increasingly oppressive； unbearable weight press i down on us？
the drains are clogged again。 we cant run the wa… ter； or if we do； only a trickle；
we cant flush the toilet； so we have to use a toilet brush； and weve been putting our dirty water into a big earthenware jar。 we can man… age for today； but what will happen if the plumber cant fix it on his own？ the sanitation department cant e until tuesday。
miep sent us a raisin bread with 〃happy pentecost〃 written on top。 its almost as if she were mocking us； since our moods and cares are far from 〃happy。鈥�
weve all bee more frightened since the van hoeven business。 once again you hear 〃shh〃 from all i sides； and were doing everything more quietly。 the police forced the door there； they could just as easily do that here too！ what will we do if were ever。
。 。 no； i mustnt write that down。 but the question wont let itself be pushed to the back of my mind today； on the contrary； all the fear ive ever felt is looming before me in all its horror。
i had to go downstairs alone at eight this evening to use the bathroom。 there was no one down there； since they were all listening to the radio。 i wanted to be brave； but it
was hard。 i always feel safer upstairs than in that huge； silent house； when im alone with those mysterious muffied sounds from upstairs and the honking of horns in the street； i have to hurry and remind myself where i am to keep from getting the shivers。
miep has been acting much nicer toward us since her talk with father。 but i havent told you about that yet。 miep came up one afternoon all flushed and asked father straight out if we thought they too were infected with the current anti…semitism。
father was stunned and quickly talked her out of the idea； but some of mieps suspicion has lingered on。 theyre doing more errands for us now and showing more of an interest in our troubles； though we certainly shouldnt bother them with our woes。 oh； theyre such good； noble people！
ive asked myself again and again whether it wouldnt have been better if we hadnt gone into hiding； if we were dead n