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  I thanked him and hung up。 The concierge at the Ritz had arranged 
  for a driver to meet Mr。 Tomlinson¨s private plane at de Gaulle and 
  transfer Harry back to the hotel。 If everything went as planned�察�
  Miranda should¨ve had those books by seven in the morning local 
  time�察�and considering it was already late afternoon there�察�I 
  couldn¨t imagine what had gone wrong。 There was no choice�此�I had to 
  call the concierge�察�and since my cell wouldn¨t dial internationally�察�
  I had to find a phone that did。

  I took the plate of now cold waffles back to the kitchen and dumped 
  them in the garbage。 Lily was lying on the couch again�察�half´asleep。 
  I hugged her good´bye and told her I¨d call her later and headed out 
  to hail a cab back to the office。

  ^What about today�拭院�she whined。 ^I haveThe American President all 
  lined up and ready to go。 You can¨t leave yet!our weekend¨s not 
  over� �

  ^I know�察�I¨m sorry�察�Lil。 I have to deal with this now。 There¨s 
  nothing I¨d rather do than stay here�察�but she¨s got me on a pretty 
  short leash right now。 I¨ll call you later�拭�

  The office was�察�of course�察�deserted�察�as everyone was surely 
  brunching at Pastis with their investment banker boyfriends。 I sat 
  in my darkened area�察�took a deep breath�察�and dialed。 Blissfully�察�
  Monsieur Renaud�察�my favorite of the Ritz concierges�察�was available。

  ^Andrea�察�dear�察�how are you�拭�We¨re simply delighted to have Miranda 
  and the twins back with us again so soon�察院�he lied。 Emily told me 
  that Miranda stayed at the Ritz so frequently that the entire hotel 
  staff knew her and the girls by name。

  ^Yes�察�Monsieur Renaud�察�and I know she¨s just thrilled to be there�察院�
  I lied back。 No matter how acmodating the poor concierge was�察�
  Miranda found fault with his every move。 To his credit�察�he never 
  stopped trying�察�and he never stopped lying about how much he loved 
  her�察�either。 ^Listen�察�I¨m wondering if that car you sent to meet 
  Miranda¨s plane made it back to the hotel already�拭�

  ^Well of course�察�dear。 That was hours ago。 He must¨ve returned here 
  before eight o¨clock this morning。 I sent the best driver we have on 
  staff�察院�he said proudly。 If only he knew what his best driver had 
  been sent to shuttle around town。

  ^Well�察�that¨s so strange�察�because I got a message from Miranda 
  saying that she never received the package�察�but I¨ve checked with 
  the driver here who swears he dropped it at the airport�察�the pilot 
  who swears he flew it to Paris and gave it to your driver�察�and now 
  you who remember it arriving at the hotel。 How could she not have 
  received it�拭�

  ^It seems the only way to solve this is to ask the lady herself�察院�he 
  trilled in a fake´happy voice。 ^Why don¨t I connect you�拭�

  I had hoped against all hope that it wouldn¨t e to this�察�that I¨d 
  be able to identify and fix the problem without having to speak to 
  her。 What would I tell her if she still insisted that she¨d never 
  received the package�拭�Was I supposed to suggest that she look on the 
  table in her suite�察�where it was inevitably left hours earlier�拭�Or 
  was I supposed to go through the whole thing�察�private jet and all�察�
  and get her two more copies by the end of the day�拭�Or perhaps I 
  should hire a secret service agent next time to acpany the books 
  on their journey overseas and ensure that nothing promises their 
  safe arrival�拭�Something to think about。

  ^Sure�察�Monsieur Renaud。 Thanks for your help。 ̄

  A few clicks and the phone was ringing。 I was sweating slightly from 
  the tension�察�so I wiped my palm on my sweatpants and tried not to 
  think what would happen if Miranda saw me wearing sweatpants in her 
  office。Be calm�察�be confident�察�I coached myself。She can¨t disembowel 
  me over the phone 。

  ^Yes�拭院�I heard from a faraway place�察�jolting myself out of my 
  self´help thoughts。 It was Caroline who�察�at a mere ten years�察�had 
  perfected her mother¨s brusque phone manner perfectly。 Cassidy at 
  least had the courtesy to answer the phone with a ^hello。 ̄

  ^Hi�察�sweetie�察院�I crooned�察�hating myself for sucking up to a child。 
  ^It¨s Andrea�察�from the office。 Is your mom there�拭�

  ^You mean mymum �拭院�she corrected as she always did when I used the 
  American pronunciation。 ^Sure�察�I¨ll get her。 ̄

  A moment or two later�察�Miranda was on the line。

  ^Yes�察�Ahn´dre´ah�拭�This had better be important。 You know how I feel 
  about being interrupted when I¨m spending time with the girls�察院�she 
  stated in her cold�察�clipped way。You know how I feel about being 
  interrupted when I¨m spending time with the girls�拭�I wanted to 
  scream。Are you fucking kidding me�察�lady�拭�You think I¨m calling for 
  my goddamn health�拭�Because I couldn¨t bear to go a single weekend 
  without hearing your miserable voice�拭�And what about me spending 
  time with mygirls�拭�I thought I¨d pass out from anger�察�but I took a 
  deep breath and dove right in。

  ^Miranda�察�I¨m sorry if this is a bad time�察�but I¨m calling to ensure 
  that you received the Harry Potter books。 I heard your message 
  saying that you hadn¨t yet received them�察�but I¨ve spoken to 
  everyone and! ̄

  She interrupted me midsentence and spoke slowly and surely。 
  ^Ahn´dre´ah。 You should really listen more closely。 I said no such 
  thing。 We received the package early this morning。 Incidentally�察�it 
  came so early that they woke us all up for the silly thing。 ̄

  I couldn¨t believe what I was hearing。 I didn¨t dream that she¨d 
  left the message�察�did I�拭�I was still too young even for early´onset 
  Alzheimer¨s�察�right��

  ^What I said was that we didn¨t receiveboth copies of the book�察�as I 
  had requested。 The package included only one�察�and I¨m sure you can 
  imagine just how disappointed the girls are。 They were really 
  looking forward to each having theirown copy�察�as I had requested。 I 
  need you to explain why my orders weren¨t followed。 ̄

  This wasn¨t happening。 This couldn¨t be happening。 I was definitely 
  dreaming now�察�living some sort of alternate´universe existence where 
  anything resembling rationality and logic were suspended 
  indefinitely。 I wouldn¨t even let myself consider the absurdity of 
  what was unfolding。

  ^Miranda�察�I do recall that you requested two copies�察�and I ordered 
  two�察院�I stammered�察�hating myself yet again for pandering。 ^I spoke 
  to the girl at Scholastic and am quite sure that she understood that 
  you needed two copies of the book�察�so I can¨t imagine! ̄

  ^Ahn´dre´ah�察�you know how I feel about excuses。 I¨m not particularly 
  interested in hearing yours now。 I expect something like this will 
  never happen again�察�correct�拭�That¨s all。 ̄ She hung up。

  I stood there for what must have been five full minutes�察�listening 
  to the squawking off´the´hook sound with the receiver pressed 
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