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I thanked him and hung up。 The concierge at the Ritz had arranged
for a driver to meet Mr。 Tomlinson¨s private plane at de Gaulle and
transfer Harry back to the hotel。 If everything went as planned�察�
Miranda should¨ve had those books by seven in the morning local
time�察�and considering it was already late afternoon there�察�I
couldn¨t imagine what had gone wrong。 There was no choice�此�I had to
call the concierge�察�and since my cell wouldn¨t dial internationally�察�
I had to find a phone that did。
I took the plate of now cold waffles back to the kitchen and dumped
them in the garbage。 Lily was lying on the couch again�察�half´asleep。
I hugged her good´bye and told her I¨d call her later and headed out
to hail a cab back to the office。
^What about today�拭院�she whined。 ^I haveThe American President all
lined up and ready to go。 You can¨t leave yet!our weekend¨s not
over� �
^I know�察�I¨m sorry�察�Lil。 I have to deal with this now。 There¨s
nothing I¨d rather do than stay here�察�but she¨s got me on a pretty
short leash right now。 I¨ll call you later�拭�
The office was�察�of course�察�deserted�察�as everyone was surely
brunching at Pastis with their investment banker boyfriends。 I sat
in my darkened area�察�took a deep breath�察�and dialed。 Blissfully�察�
Monsieur Renaud�察�my favorite of the Ritz concierges�察�was available。
^Andrea�察�dear�察�how are you�拭�We¨re simply delighted to have Miranda
and the twins back with us again so soon�察院�he lied。 Emily told me
that Miranda stayed at the Ritz so frequently that the entire hotel
staff knew her and the girls by name。
^Yes�察�Monsieur Renaud�察�and I know she¨s just thrilled to be there�察院�
I lied back。 No matter how acmodating the poor concierge was�察�
Miranda found fault with his every move。 To his credit�察�he never
stopped trying�察�and he never stopped lying about how much he loved
her�察�either。 ^Listen�察�I¨m wondering if that car you sent to meet
Miranda¨s plane made it back to the hotel already�拭�
^Well of course�察�dear。 That was hours ago。 He must¨ve returned here
before eight o¨clock this morning。 I sent the best driver we have on
staff�察院�he said proudly。 If only he knew what his best driver had
been sent to shuttle around town。
^Well�察�that¨s so strange�察�because I got a message from Miranda
saying that she never received the package�察�but I¨ve checked with
the driver here who swears he dropped it at the airport�察�the pilot
who swears he flew it to Paris and gave it to your driver�察�and now
you who remember it arriving at the hotel。 How could she not have
received it�拭�
^It seems the only way to solve this is to ask the lady herself�察院�he
trilled in a fake´happy voice。 ^Why don¨t I connect you�拭�
I had hoped against all hope that it wouldn¨t e to this�察�that I¨d
be able to identify and fix the problem without having to speak to
her。 What would I tell her if she still insisted that she¨d never
received the package�拭�Was I supposed to suggest that she look on the
table in her suite�察�where it was inevitably left hours earlier�拭�Or
was I supposed to go through the whole thing�察�private jet and all�察�
and get her two more copies by the end of the day�拭�Or perhaps I
should hire a secret service agent next time to acpany the books
on their journey overseas and ensure that nothing promises their
safe arrival�拭�Something to think about。
^Sure�察�Monsieur Renaud。 Thanks for your help。 ̄
A few clicks and the phone was ringing。 I was sweating slightly from
the tension�察�so I wiped my palm on my sweatpants and tried not to
think what would happen if Miranda saw me wearing sweatpants in her
office。Be calm�察�be confident�察�I coached myself。She can¨t disembowel
me over the phone 。
^Yes�拭院�I heard from a faraway place�察�jolting myself out of my
self´help thoughts。 It was Caroline who�察�at a mere ten years�察�had
perfected her mother¨s brusque phone manner perfectly。 Cassidy at
least had the courtesy to answer the phone with a ^hello。 ̄
^Hi�察�sweetie�察院�I crooned�察�hating myself for sucking up to a child。
^It¨s Andrea�察�from the office。 Is your mom there�拭�
^You mean mymum �拭院�she corrected as she always did when I used the
American pronunciation。 ^Sure�察�I¨ll get her。 ̄
A moment or two later�察�Miranda was on the line。
^Yes�察�Ahn´dre´ah�拭�This had better be important。 You know how I feel
about being interrupted when I¨m spending time with the girls�察院�she
stated in her cold�察�clipped way。You know how I feel about being
interrupted when I¨m spending time with the girls�拭�I wanted to
scream。Are you fucking kidding me�察�lady�拭�You think I¨m calling for
my goddamn health�拭�Because I couldn¨t bear to go a single weekend
without hearing your miserable voice�拭�And what about me spending
time with mygirls�拭�I thought I¨d pass out from anger�察�but I took a
deep breath and dove right in。
^Miranda�察�I¨m sorry if this is a bad time�察�but I¨m calling to ensure
that you received the Harry Potter books。 I heard your message
saying that you hadn¨t yet received them�察�but I¨ve spoken to
everyone and! ̄
She interrupted me midsentence and spoke slowly and surely。
^Ahn´dre´ah。 You should really listen more closely。 I said no such
thing。 We received the package early this morning。 Incidentally�察�it
came so early that they woke us all up for the silly thing。 ̄
I couldn¨t believe what I was hearing。 I didn¨t dream that she¨d
left the message�察�did I�拭�I was still too young even for early´onset
Alzheimer¨s�察�right��
^What I said was that we didn¨t receiveboth copies of the book�察�as I
had requested。 The package included only one�察�and I¨m sure you can
imagine just how disappointed the girls are。 They were really
looking forward to each having theirown copy�察�as I had requested。 I
need you to explain why my orders weren¨t followed。 ̄
This wasn¨t happening。 This couldn¨t be happening。 I was definitely
dreaming now�察�living some sort of alternate´universe existence where
anything resembling rationality and logic were suspended
indefinitely。 I wouldn¨t even let myself consider the absurdity of
what was unfolding。
^Miranda�察�I do recall that you requested two copies�察�and I ordered
two�察院�I stammered�察�hating myself yet again for pandering。 ^I spoke
to the girl at Scholastic and am quite sure that she understood that
you needed two copies of the book�察�so I can¨t imagine! ̄
^Ahn´dre´ah�察�you know how I feel about excuses。 I¨m not particularly
interested in hearing yours now。 I expect something like this will
never happen again�察�correct�拭�That¨s all。 ̄ She hung up。
I stood there for what must have been five full minutes�察�listening
to the squawking off´the´hook sound with the receiver pressed
�